Don't get me started on gay rights...

Sorry, folks. When it comes to gay rights, I can't shut up.

I've been listening to the hearings on NPR in the car today and I keep going back and forth between excited/hopeful and terrified/sad. I know DOMA will be repealed and that gay marriage will be legalized- and soon- but it's still disappointing that there is even a debate or question at this point. 

I am encouraged by the reports of how so many minds have changed because of gay people coming out to those who were opposed to the "issue" of gay rights. 

It's not an issue, it's just people.

I'm working with an equality group here in Raleigh (same sex marriage was banned in the state constitution this year here) and that's the exactly what this group is trying to remind people - we're talking about the lives behind this "issue" and how they are affected by certain laws.

If you think you don't know or love anyone who's gay, you're wrong. 

Maybe they're afraid to tell you but you do know at least one person who is negatively affected by DOMA and similar discriminatory laws. For example, I just found out last week that it is still completely legal in North Carolina to fire someone based only on their sexual or gender orientation. Not cool, NC. 

This is discrimination, it is wrong, and it will be stopped. 

How soon, and to what extent, is up to us.

GET INVOLVED: 
Looking back, you may regret not standing up for human rights at such an important time in history. Things are changing and you can be a part.

If you're in Raleigh, Equality NC is organizing a Lobby Day on April 16th where you can meet with your state senators and representatives to discuss the workplace discrimination laws. Register here.

If you go to or live near Anderson University- MAKE SOME CHANGES! The more I get out in the "real world" the more I am dumbfounded by how archaic and discriminatory the code of conduct our school has. I shock others and myself when I have to explain the policies and practices that are still in place there. That school is going to hang it's head in shame in no time at all. Christian leaders are leaving their hateful views, its time for Christian institutions to do the same.

Wherever you are, get involved in your area. Wherever you are, there are undoubtedly countless ways to take a stand and make a difference. Even online activism counts, in my book. Become a member of Human Rights Campaign or similar groups.

Maybe consider joining the National Marriage Boycott. You can pledge to stay unmarried until DOMA is repealed and order your ring here. Think twice about this. I was unsure for a few years before buying my ring. I asked some of my gay friends how they felt about the boycott and asked myself the really hard questions like whether I would ever actually be willing to call off a wedding- which isn't something I'm planning for anyway- in order to stand up for those who can't get married. 

I understand different views on this group and recognize that this ring is merely a symbol and that I must take action in other ways in order to make a difference. But, I have had many good conversations that started with people noticing my ring and I am proud to be able to show and explain how much equality means to me and the people I love. (Thanks to Chelsea Macek for introducing me to this group 4 or 5 years ago).

TO THE APATHETIC AND THE OPPOSED:

Maybe you don't want to get involved or are even against everything I'm saying. That's fine. But just know that these things will change- in fact, are changing- and that you will cling to your judgmental, intolerant views only to be found alone in a new world.

Custom Dress Form

I originally found this idea in a sewing magazine and decided to make my own this summer after getting tons of clothes from friends and thrift stores. Considering all the alterations I knew I would be making, I figured having an exact replica of myself would simplify things. 

Honestly, I haven't used it as much as I had planned but I think that's mostly because I've been doing only simple alterations. If/when I build a dress from scratch, this thing will be put to work! But I think I've lost some weight since making it because I put a vest on it the other day and it wouldn't close on the form but is loose on me. I may have to make new one soon.

The process was simple but time-consuming. Shout out to my best buds Mike and Kirsten for helping. It took some time and they were very patient and kind to "volunteer" for the job.

Step 1: Put on an old t-shirt start wrapping a lot of duct tape. This is where the loving and devoted friends come in handy. Have one of these incredible friends carefully cut a

 line straight up the back when you're done to take the "cast" off.

Step 2: Finish covering the form in whatever color duct tape you want and stuff it. I'm weird about buying stuffing unless it's completely necessary so I just used anything I could find.

Step 3: Cover the neck and arm wholes smoothly with duct tape and add a wide, sturdy base. I used an old Indiana license plate so the Hoosier state will always be my foundation... :)

Optional: You can add a hanger like I did but, if you are planning on hanging it up to work with, I would suggest not stuffing it with towels, sweaters and hoodies like I did. My form was so heavy that the hanger popped out as soon as I picked it up. Still, having the shoulder of the hanger inside the form helps add structure to the shoulders. 

You can also add a pole in the bottom of the form. I knew I had to transport this thing in my little Honda Civic to North Carolina weeks after making it and I didn't want to worry about making/finding a pole and base strong enough to hold the whole form straight up. I just keep mine on my sewing desk and it seems to work fine for now.

There are tons of examples and different ways to do this online. My sister and I might make one for 

her out of paper mache, she thinks it'll be easier to make and to stick pins in when it's done. 

I just think it will be a longer, more miserable process. We'll see who's right.

 I'll be sure to do a post if we try it to compare the methods. 

If you do sew or are starting to learn, I think this is a huge help to really see how 

things fit and hang. Nothing is more frustrating and back-breaking than trying to 

make marks and cuts while wearing something, I've tried!

THANKS FOR READING

Gold Front Hall for a Golden Birthday

Hi, internet! 

I just got back from a busy but fun weekend in DC with my mom's side of the family- 36 people in all! After celebrating 4 birthdays and a new arrival in the family, Amanda and I drove home through a snow storm in Virginia and re-united with out Lady who was in the safe care of our dear friend, Irina. 

It was a good weekend and I'm especially glad I got to see my parents but I am also glad to be back and working on everything I have to get done. I mean, now that I'm 23, it's time to be real grown-up, right?

Seeing as Saturday was my golden birthday, here's a post about my gold frame front hall!

The final product after months of finding, adding, moving and filling gold frames.

The inspiration for this whole wall was taken from the poem Desiderata mentioned in some of the captions below that my sister found and introduced me to. We both love it and practically every line speaks a very loud and clear truth about living a good and happy life. 

From sound business advice to fair warnings about romance, the poem straight-up rocks! We tried to make every picture either a quote or an image related to the overall theme and message of this poem.

If you have a minute, read the full poem at the bottom of this post! You won't regret it...

Bob. F'n. Ross.
I (illegally) printed this from a google search and I love it! 

The last few stanzas of Max Erhman's Desiderata.
My sister wrote this out and covered the text in a
thin layer of gold paint but she's iffy on the result.
 I like it but it may be a re-do down the road...

Probably my favorite picture- I found this old print of
a hunter and his pointer, perfect for our pointer mix, Lady! 

A wise but ironic quote for two very loud occupants! 

One of my sister's thrift store finds.
I love the colors and how the gold in the map sparkles. 

Mirror conveniently hung by the front door
so you can "check yoself" before you leave! 

Coming Soon...

I'm hoping to make lots of blog posts this week of all the things I've been doing lately. So many projects! And (hopefully) soon, I will be making some changes to the blog and opening an Etsy shop, which has been a goal of mine for a long time now... Get ready, people!

Thanks for reading!

Max Ehrmann 


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Taken from http://mwkworks.com/desiderata.html

Hang Shelves for $14

This is a follow-up to the post I made in January about the wall I painted with 
$3 leftover paint from the Habit for Humanity ReStore (check it out it here). 

Before: Messy and very, very white 

$3 for paint + $14 for shelves = $17 total

After: Shelves added and re-organized

I bought the 4 shelves for $2 each at the ReStore. They were all matching and with very little damage. Plus, all of our furniture and molding was already a similar stain. I bought brackets and hardware at Home Depot for $1.50 each in black so they would be visible and complement the black accents we had throughout the room. I also alternated the long and short ends of the brackets along the wall, just for funsies. A level, drill and pencil took care of the rest!

All the kid's stuff and board games

The goal was to make a living room that also doubled as a safe and fun area for kids when I'm babysitting, hence why the shelves are hung so high. I'll make a post (someday) about turning my house into a makeshift in-home daycare without making it look or feel like a preschool...

(Sorry if this post seems pointless- I guess I just love being cheap and doing room makeovers)

THANKS FOR READING! 

Some Love for My Friends

Dear friend,

You are wonderful.

Even if I haven't talked to you recently, I'm having one of those moments where I realize how many people I love and that love me in so many different places.

Old friends from home, becoming-old-friends from my second home in Anderson and my quasi-home in Costa Rica and new friends in my oddly-comfortable-new-home Raleigh.

You're probably an awesome person and I'm probably lucky to have you and I probably miss you like crazy or am glad to have you around.

I don't know how we met or how you ever stuck around long enough to get past the "this girl talks too much and moves her body in really unsettling ways" phase but I'm glad you did.

You are unique and interesting and smart and funny.

You are probably super quirky. And I probably love your quirks.

You are probably a way better friend than I deserve sometimes.

I am continually taken by surprise by your love.

You are always loved and appreciated, even if I don't call when I should.

I probably secretly love, admire, respect and even envy you more than you know.

I know this because that's how my friends are and that's why I love you.

Even if this seems overly-sentimental or inauthentic, please believe that it is true and it applies to so many incredible people I know. Even if we're not that close and you're reading this, please believe that these words are probably true for so many of the people you know and love. Read it when you don't feel like you deserve it because you probably do. We all need to share these thoughts and feelings more, even when we're embarrassed, because these are the words and relationships that keep us going and everyone can use a reminder of the love they have and deserve from time to time.

So here's some love. Accept it or not, that's it.

Thank you,
Bethany

Thrift Store Re-Do: Floral Dress

This summer, for a grand total of $40, I bought or received enough clothes to create an entirely new wardrobe. Two giant garbage bags of hand-me-downs from friends (Thanks, Cort and Dee!) and a few thrift stores in Colorado I was set. It's now over 6 months later and I'm just getting to some of the alterations and some I've had done for months but haven't posted... until now!

The before photo is pretty awful. I apologize.

I found this "teacher dress" at an ARC in Fort Collins while Kirsten and I were visiting the lovely Molly. When I showed it to one of my most fashionable and brutally honest friends, he tried to chop it up with scissors and threatened to burn it. He said it hurt his eyes. Oh, Mikey, how I love you. When I sent him the after picture, he took it all back.

With Kirsten's "soft cardigan"

The process was shockingly simple and quick. I cut a straight line across the top just below the armpit seem, hemmed it and gathered the fabric for about 2 or 3 inches at the top. That's it!

With a tank top and belt

The only problem I've run in to is keeping it up since it's strapless. I usually either layer a tank top underneath or at a cover so I don't have to deal with constantly pulling it up. A belt makes a big difference, too. I might add straps but I like the flexibility of layering it with different things.

With my favorite cover-up-thing

So, that's all. Just thought I'd share. Tell me your thoughts and I recommend doing this with any "potentially-cute-but-ruined-by-sleeves-and-shoulder-pads" thrift store dress you can find. 

I'll try to post more re-do's soon!

The universe is broken

It is officially three days before valentine's and the universe is broken. In the past week, three different guys have absolutely blown my world and made me feel better than most characters in romantic comedies. Guys that have truly taken notice of who I am and brought out opinions, passions and ideas I almost forgot were central to my being until they asked or illustrated them for me. Three guys with rugged-looking stubble and nice builds and gut-wrenching smiles. Guys with some sort of direction or purpose or hobby that I can get excited about. Sometimes life is like this, apparently. Apparently, sometimes life is like the movies. Or better. But, if you're a rational person, you've prepared for everything but the movie romance. If you're rational, you've been cynical of every guy out there. If you're rational, you've let the romantics fall for you but you haven't let yourself get caught off guard. Ok, there was that one time. And look at how that ended. You wrote your little sonnet or swan song or eulogy or whatever that was and the right amount of beer occasionally brings it back to the surface but basically it just sucked. It sucked then it ended and then it sucked again. But that guy didn't treat you how your friends said you should be treated. But then three, not one but three, different guys show up and talk to you and treat you the way you never let yourself imagine they would. And it's terrifying and liberating and exciting and just plain wrong. The universe is broken, there is a glitch somewhere. This is not how this is supposed to go. I just wanted to get this all down before it's gone and everything goes back to normal. Crappy and comfortable normal. I don't want it to but I know that that's how it works. "This too shall pass." Yes, even this horrifying mistake of the universe itself will end, probably sooner than I would like, and I will go back to my very normal, decently aimless day-to-day life. But this happened and I marked the moment with this message. This happened. The universe broke and gave me a glimpse of what life feels like for a fictional character. Very funny, universe.

I blame the internet. I blame Valentine's Day. I blame Butch Cassidy.