I Quit

I am quitting smoking.

Ok, if you know me at all, you've heard this several times before and I don't blame you for being skeptical. This is my 3rd attempt in the last month alone!

But this is the first time I'm making it so... official. 

I had been avoiding the subject and blogging altogether because of how scared I am of quitting. But then, last night while planning what I hope will be my final quit, I re-read the ZenHabits post on the subject. Leo's #1 tip is to "Commit Thyself Fully" which includes telling everyone you know, making a plan and even posting it in a blog. 

So, here I am, blog. And now you know.

My Smoking History

I smoked for the first time on my friend's 18th birthday when I was 15. I remember walking around the block at night feeling like we were doing something so cool and bad. I was a sophomore smoking with seniors! I mean, I was also going to youth group and violin/viola lessons every week buuttt, I still felt like a rebel. Looking back, of course, I realize that it was just plain illegal and has obviously led to years of addiction. Don't smoke, kids! I mean it!

I continued smoking socially in high school and it started getting worse when I went away to school. It was so nice not having my parents there to smell my clothes when I got home. Then again, the girls in my hall weren't much better. (I'm looking at you, 2CD!)

By the time I was living off-campus my second year, I was addicted. I smoked everywhere, all the time. I hardly went a day without smoking for at least a couple years.

My Quitting History

    - Fall 2011 - Quit for 4 days in Costa Rica but I got bored  of quitting and started again
    - May 2012 - Quit for 5 days right after graduation but I caved at a party and at work
    - Fall 2012 - Quit for 6 weeks in Raleigh (but occasionally bummed and cheated)
    - Jan 1, 2013 - Quit for 1 week  until I decided to smoke while friends were visiting
    - Jan 12, 2013 - Quit for 1 more week but I got nervous and gave up on my 7th day

What I've Learned

    - I am addicted and I cannot "just smoke socially" (Thank you, Claire Alexoff)

    - I love quitting and feeling in control of my choices

    - I don't really like smoking or cigarettes all that much

    - I waste a lot of time and money on cigarettes

    - The things I will miss about smoking are not the cigarettes themselves

    - People who have smoked for much longer have quit and I can, too

    - My identity is not dependent on my nicotine addiction

What I Need from You

Yes, YOU! If you're reading this, you must know me somehow. Maybe you even kind of like me at least enough to wish me well, as I'm sure I would do for you. If that's true, you can help me!

NOTE: If you really don't like me, that's ok, too. I am mature and well-adjusted, I can handle disapproval. I also happen to be made of rubber whereas you are made of glue. Therefore, whatever you say will most likely bounce off of me and stick to you. Consider yourself warned.

Encouragement: Support from friends and family is so important! I know all this is probably getting old. Trust me, I have my doubts, too. But please, just pretend that you believe I can do it?! 

Patience: I may not call you or answer your phone calls or even listen to your voice-mails for a few days. Talking on the phone has been my #1 trigger every time I try to quit. But please don't give up on me! I will try to call you back and find a way to not be so afraid of the phone, I promise!

Still Be My Friend: Most of my friends in Indiana and Chicago smoke and I am very worried about whether I can stay quit when I am home. If you are one of the friends I usually smoke with and I quit, please still be my friend! A Mr. Rogers lesson that I learned while babysitting is that friends should like us for who we are, not what toys we have to share. Listen to Mr. Rogers, people.

Don't Be Mean: Please. Quitting is hard enough. I don't need to be mocked for trying yet again. I don't need your jokes about how "cool kids don't quit." If you don't have anything nice to say...

Here I Go!

So, that's it. I'm gonna quit smoking, starting today. I've done it before and I can do it again. I'm terrified and excited and hopeful and anxious. And that's all I could hope to be.

Paint a wall for three dollars

I wanted to do a project this week so, naturally, I decided to give the whole house a makeover...

Oops.

But I think it's possible, thanks to my new obsession: the Habitat for Humanity ReStore in Raleigh!

I'd heard tales of these wonderful places but never lived near one until now! I've already been there 2 times in the last 2 days and will probably be back soon.

The best deal so far has been the discarded paint. That's how I painted this wall for $3.00 (plus tax) in a couple hours last night...

 Did I mention this cost $3.00?!

This is my new technique for painting:

Since I'm renting (and I absolutely hate to tape before painting), I've been leaving a border of white around every edge, window and door. I still use painter's tape for this but, for some reason, it's way easier, faster and crisper this way. Then, when I move out, I can paint the wall white without having to re-tape! Plus I like the white "trim" it creates; it gives the room a completely different feel.

Also, although I shouldn't admit it, I added a little bit of water to the paint. It doesn't take much away from the thickness (don't add too much!) and helps the paint roll easier. I picked this trick up in the high school theater shop and it worked fine in this case but I wouldn't recommend it if you 

A) are using a darker or bolder color or 

B) own the home you live in and want the paint to last for years. 

I don't know how long I'm planning on staying in one place but I can bet you I'll be worn out before one coat of watered-down paint, that's for sure!

This is the room before painting. (Meh...)

The paint: I paid $1 for the little one and $2 for the bigger one

How it looks after painting! There's still a lot left to do...

So, that's the extent of the makeover so far. 

Still to come: custom shelving, re-decorated mantel, organized kitchen, bathroom and bedroom, a custom-built table, lots of painting/spray-painting and a whole new, kid-safe play area. 

All in three days. Aaaannd I have to babysit in 4 1/2 hours.

Better get some sleep... Goodnight, internet!

My New Year's Revolution

I haven't posted in a few weeks while I was home and in Indiana for the holidays. It was good to see so many people I've been missing but I'm definitely glad to be back to "real life" in Raleigh.

So, here's a secret that I haven't shared on here yet. Around the same time that I started this blog, I had a vision of a rather ambitious project that would encompass just about every aspect of my life. In fact, this ambitious project I'm undertaking kind of is my entire life...

If you read my first post (possibly the only worthwhile post on this blog thus far), you know that I moved cross-country after graduating college expecting to become an entirely new and exciting person and fell into quite the funk when that didn't happen.

Well, I found the solution and I call it:

Lucky #2013

or...

My New Year's Revolution

or just...

A Year of Intentional Living

Ok, so I can't decide what to call it. But I definitely know what it is and I am PUMPED!

I have a list of over 20 habits, attitudes, goals and changes I want to make part of my life this year. Every habit change I have chosen will benefit my physical health, overall happiness and/or productivity/financial situation.

And I don't just believe that my goals will make me happier or healthier, I know that they will! I have been researching the habits of truly happy, healthy and financially stable people for over a month and I am going to systematically incorporate those habits into my life.

Basically, I'm going to impersonate a happy, healthy and well-off person in the hopes that this will, in turn, make me quite happy, healthy and earning/saving some decent dough.

My goals range from the completely expected (ex: quit smoking, exercise more, manage money better) to the less-common but, I believe, equally important and effective (ex: be able to leave the house more quickly and with less worrying/grabbing things, avoid over-thinking and social comparisons, take my dog for a walk everyday).

I have read several books and articles not only to determine which habits to change but also how to change habits effectively and I will share these resources as I go along as well as which habits I'm focusing on at the time and how the changes are affecting me. But, the gist is that I will focus on 1-4 habits per month and change one at a time until, this time next year, I am practically a new person!

Whether this seems logical/practical or idealistic/insane to most people, I am not yet sure. In my mind, it is very logical and- though it may seem overly ambitious at first- it is meant to be tackled slowly and very systematically. Plus, I don't have many other pressing matters in my life at the moment. Besides rent and student loans, I have virtually no financial obligations, I am single and childless, young and healthy and full to the brim with a desire for change and self-improvement!

This is how I see it:

Rather than spending years moving new places, meeting new people and waiting to someday, somehow transform into the person I always dreamed I'd be, I'm going to stay where I am, become that person and have her as a traveling companion, wherever I go, for the rest of my life.

Doesn't sound too bad, right?