Ok, if you know me at all, you've heard this several times before and I don't blame you for being skeptical. This is my 3rd attempt in the last month alone!
But this is the first time I'm making it so... official.
I had been avoiding the subject and blogging altogether because of how scared I am of quitting. But then, last night while planning what I hope will be my final quit, I re-read the ZenHabits post on the subject. Leo's #1 tip is to "Commit Thyself Fully" which includes telling everyone you know, making a plan and even posting it in a blog.
So, here I am, blog. And now you know.
My Smoking History
I smoked for the first time on my friend's 18th birthday when I was 15. I remember walking around the block at night feeling like we were doing something so cool and bad. I was a sophomore smoking with seniors! I mean, I was also going to youth group and violin/viola lessons every week buuttt, I still felt like a rebel. Looking back, of course, I realize that it was just plain illegal and has obviously led to years of addiction. Don't smoke, kids! I mean it!
I continued smoking socially in high school and it started getting worse when I went away to school. It was so nice not having my parents there to smell my clothes when I got home. Then again, the girls in my hall weren't much better. (I'm looking at you, 2CD!)
By the time I was living off-campus my second year, I was addicted. I smoked everywhere, all the time. I hardly went a day without smoking for at least a couple years.
My Quitting History
- Fall 2011 - Quit for 4 days in Costa Rica but I got bored of quitting and started again- May 2012 - Quit for 5 days right after graduation but I caved at a party and at work
- Fall 2012 - Quit for 6 weeks in Raleigh (but occasionally bummed and cheated)
- Jan 1, 2013 - Quit for 1 week until I decided to smoke while friends were visiting
- Jan 12, 2013 - Quit for 1 more week but I got nervous and gave up on my 7th day
What I've Learned
- I am addicted and I cannot "just smoke socially" (Thank you, Claire Alexoff)
- I love quitting and feeling in control of my choices
- I don't really like smoking or cigarettes all that much
- I waste a lot of time and money on cigarettes
- The things I will miss about smoking are not the cigarettes themselves
- People who have smoked for much longer have quit and I can, too
- My identity is not dependent on my nicotine addiction
What I Need from You
Yes, YOU! If you're reading this, you must know me somehow. Maybe you even kind of like me at least enough to wish me well, as I'm sure I would do for you. If that's true, you can help me!
NOTE: If you really don't like me, that's ok, too. I am mature and well-adjusted, I can handle disapproval. I also happen to be made of rubber whereas you are made of glue. Therefore, whatever you say will most likely bounce off of me and stick to you. Consider yourself warned.
Encouragement: Support from friends and family is so important! I know all this is probably getting old. Trust me, I have my doubts, too. But please, just pretend that you believe I can do it?!
Patience: I may not call you or answer your phone calls or even listen to your voice-mails for a few days. Talking on the phone has been my #1 trigger every time I try to quit. But please don't give up on me! I will try to call you back and find a way to not be so afraid of the phone, I promise!
Still Be My Friend: Most of my friends in Indiana and Chicago smoke and I am very worried about whether I can stay quit when I am home. If you are one of the friends I usually smoke with and I quit, please still be my friend! A Mr. Rogers lesson that I learned while babysitting is that friends should like us for who we are, not what toys we have to share. Listen to Mr. Rogers, people.
Don't Be Mean: Please. Quitting is hard enough. I don't need to be mocked for trying yet again. I don't need your jokes about how "cool kids don't quit." If you don't have anything nice to say...
Go for it! You can do it and you'll never regret it!
ReplyDelete