I Quit

I am quitting smoking.

Ok, if you know me at all, you've heard this several times before and I don't blame you for being skeptical. This is my 3rd attempt in the last month alone!

But this is the first time I'm making it so... official. 

I had been avoiding the subject and blogging altogether because of how scared I am of quitting. But then, last night while planning what I hope will be my final quit, I re-read the ZenHabits post on the subject. Leo's #1 tip is to "Commit Thyself Fully" which includes telling everyone you know, making a plan and even posting it in a blog. 

So, here I am, blog. And now you know.

My Smoking History

I smoked for the first time on my friend's 18th birthday when I was 15. I remember walking around the block at night feeling like we were doing something so cool and bad. I was a sophomore smoking with seniors! I mean, I was also going to youth group and violin/viola lessons every week buuttt, I still felt like a rebel. Looking back, of course, I realize that it was just plain illegal and has obviously led to years of addiction. Don't smoke, kids! I mean it!

I continued smoking socially in high school and it started getting worse when I went away to school. It was so nice not having my parents there to smell my clothes when I got home. Then again, the girls in my hall weren't much better. (I'm looking at you, 2CD!)

By the time I was living off-campus my second year, I was addicted. I smoked everywhere, all the time. I hardly went a day without smoking for at least a couple years.

My Quitting History

    - Fall 2011 - Quit for 4 days in Costa Rica but I got bored  of quitting and started again
    - May 2012 - Quit for 5 days right after graduation but I caved at a party and at work
    - Fall 2012 - Quit for 6 weeks in Raleigh (but occasionally bummed and cheated)
    - Jan 1, 2013 - Quit for 1 week  until I decided to smoke while friends were visiting
    - Jan 12, 2013 - Quit for 1 more week but I got nervous and gave up on my 7th day

What I've Learned

    - I am addicted and I cannot "just smoke socially" (Thank you, Claire Alexoff)

    - I love quitting and feeling in control of my choices

    - I don't really like smoking or cigarettes all that much

    - I waste a lot of time and money on cigarettes

    - The things I will miss about smoking are not the cigarettes themselves

    - People who have smoked for much longer have quit and I can, too

    - My identity is not dependent on my nicotine addiction

What I Need from You

Yes, YOU! If you're reading this, you must know me somehow. Maybe you even kind of like me at least enough to wish me well, as I'm sure I would do for you. If that's true, you can help me!

NOTE: If you really don't like me, that's ok, too. I am mature and well-adjusted, I can handle disapproval. I also happen to be made of rubber whereas you are made of glue. Therefore, whatever you say will most likely bounce off of me and stick to you. Consider yourself warned.

Encouragement: Support from friends and family is so important! I know all this is probably getting old. Trust me, I have my doubts, too. But please, just pretend that you believe I can do it?! 

Patience: I may not call you or answer your phone calls or even listen to your voice-mails for a few days. Talking on the phone has been my #1 trigger every time I try to quit. But please don't give up on me! I will try to call you back and find a way to not be so afraid of the phone, I promise!

Still Be My Friend: Most of my friends in Indiana and Chicago smoke and I am very worried about whether I can stay quit when I am home. If you are one of the friends I usually smoke with and I quit, please still be my friend! A Mr. Rogers lesson that I learned while babysitting is that friends should like us for who we are, not what toys we have to share. Listen to Mr. Rogers, people.

Don't Be Mean: Please. Quitting is hard enough. I don't need to be mocked for trying yet again. I don't need your jokes about how "cool kids don't quit." If you don't have anything nice to say...

Here I Go!

So, that's it. I'm gonna quit smoking, starting today. I've done it before and I can do it again. I'm terrified and excited and hopeful and anxious. And that's all I could hope to be.

Paint a wall for three dollars

I wanted to do a project this week so, naturally, I decided to give the whole house a makeover...

Oops.

But I think it's possible, thanks to my new obsession: the Habitat for Humanity ReStore in Raleigh!

I'd heard tales of these wonderful places but never lived near one until now! I've already been there 2 times in the last 2 days and will probably be back soon.

The best deal so far has been the discarded paint. That's how I painted this wall for $3.00 (plus tax) in a couple hours last night...

 Did I mention this cost $3.00?!

This is my new technique for painting:

Since I'm renting (and I absolutely hate to tape before painting), I've been leaving a border of white around every edge, window and door. I still use painter's tape for this but, for some reason, it's way easier, faster and crisper this way. Then, when I move out, I can paint the wall white without having to re-tape! Plus I like the white "trim" it creates; it gives the room a completely different feel.

Also, although I shouldn't admit it, I added a little bit of water to the paint. It doesn't take much away from the thickness (don't add too much!) and helps the paint roll easier. I picked this trick up in the high school theater shop and it worked fine in this case but I wouldn't recommend it if you 

A) are using a darker or bolder color or 

B) own the home you live in and want the paint to last for years. 

I don't know how long I'm planning on staying in one place but I can bet you I'll be worn out before one coat of watered-down paint, that's for sure!

This is the room before painting. (Meh...)

The paint: I paid $1 for the little one and $2 for the bigger one

How it looks after painting! There's still a lot left to do...

So, that's the extent of the makeover so far. 

Still to come: custom shelving, re-decorated mantel, organized kitchen, bathroom and bedroom, a custom-built table, lots of painting/spray-painting and a whole new, kid-safe play area. 

All in three days. Aaaannd I have to babysit in 4 1/2 hours.

Better get some sleep... Goodnight, internet!

My New Year's Revolution

I haven't posted in a few weeks while I was home and in Indiana for the holidays. It was good to see so many people I've been missing but I'm definitely glad to be back to "real life" in Raleigh.

So, here's a secret that I haven't shared on here yet. Around the same time that I started this blog, I had a vision of a rather ambitious project that would encompass just about every aspect of my life. In fact, this ambitious project I'm undertaking kind of is my entire life...

If you read my first post (possibly the only worthwhile post on this blog thus far), you know that I moved cross-country after graduating college expecting to become an entirely new and exciting person and fell into quite the funk when that didn't happen.

Well, I found the solution and I call it:

Lucky #2013

or...

My New Year's Revolution

or just...

A Year of Intentional Living

Ok, so I can't decide what to call it. But I definitely know what it is and I am PUMPED!

I have a list of over 20 habits, attitudes, goals and changes I want to make part of my life this year. Every habit change I have chosen will benefit my physical health, overall happiness and/or productivity/financial situation.

And I don't just believe that my goals will make me happier or healthier, I know that they will! I have been researching the habits of truly happy, healthy and financially stable people for over a month and I am going to systematically incorporate those habits into my life.

Basically, I'm going to impersonate a happy, healthy and well-off person in the hopes that this will, in turn, make me quite happy, healthy and earning/saving some decent dough.

My goals range from the completely expected (ex: quit smoking, exercise more, manage money better) to the less-common but, I believe, equally important and effective (ex: be able to leave the house more quickly and with less worrying/grabbing things, avoid over-thinking and social comparisons, take my dog for a walk everyday).

I have read several books and articles not only to determine which habits to change but also how to change habits effectively and I will share these resources as I go along as well as which habits I'm focusing on at the time and how the changes are affecting me. But, the gist is that I will focus on 1-4 habits per month and change one at a time until, this time next year, I am practically a new person!

Whether this seems logical/practical or idealistic/insane to most people, I am not yet sure. In my mind, it is very logical and- though it may seem overly ambitious at first- it is meant to be tackled slowly and very systematically. Plus, I don't have many other pressing matters in my life at the moment. Besides rent and student loans, I have virtually no financial obligations, I am single and childless, young and healthy and full to the brim with a desire for change and self-improvement!

This is how I see it:

Rather than spending years moving new places, meeting new people and waiting to someday, somehow transform into the person I always dreamed I'd be, I'm going to stay where I am, become that person and have her as a traveling companion, wherever I go, for the rest of my life.

Doesn't sound too bad, right?

My View on Student Loans

I made my first student loan payment yesterday and I was feelin' a little spry so I did something kinda crazy for my age group: I actually payed above the minimum.

Leading up to graduation, all of the advice I received about student loans from friends, family and even professors was the same: Don't worry so much. Defer them. Minimize the payments. Or, try to avoid them altogether.

I didn't like that advice.

So, this week, I started doing some research online. I watched home videos and news reports and read articles and blogs and found something very upsetting: much of the advice was the same. More about government programs and deferment options or certain jobs that relieve debt. I really didn't find much advice out there for paying off student loan debt, just getting out of it.

I came across one quote about avoiding debt that really pissed me off and summarized the whole mindset behind not paying what you owe. It said:

"Don't be kept from living the life you deserve"

Wow, that's really nice and empowering and inspirational and- wait, what life do you deserve?! Was receiving the education in the field you chose at the college you chose and living the lifestyle you chose not what you deserved?!

College was great. I absolutely loved every minute. But I am fully aware that I could have made better decisions concerning my university (expensive!), my degree (it sure isn't Accounting...) and the amount I earned and spent while there (alotta money went towards gas, cigarettes and booze. I mean... not booze. I went to Anderson University! We don't... drink...).

And I'm not alone. One report I found estimated that the average college student spent about as much on off-campus housing, alcohol, food and entertainment in their 4 years at school as the amount of loans they took out!

Why does everyone my age have to feel so entitled?

I had my years of glorious irresponsibility, unforgettable memories and, ya know, a higher education! How could anyone think that should come at no cost? (Certainly, in part, because of our parents' generation teaching us the wonderful uses and abuses of credit and how much we were given growing up buuutt, that's another topic...)

Even if you feel like student loans are an injustice, there is the simple reality that they don't go away. Yes, there are government programs that will relieve student loans after 20 years or so, but do you really want to be making school payments into your 40's?! I don't!

I know that I want live debt-free. I want to be able to go where I please, travel the world and build my own tiny house. But I also know that I have responsibilities right now. So, for now, my plan is to earn and pay as much as humanly possible, as soon as possible.

I'll be back on a hammock in Costa Rica someday. Just not yet.

Flannel Shirt Re-Do

After

I received this shirt in the mail when one of my best friends, Kirsten, moved to Laguna Beach, CA to be a nanny. Now that we're on opposite coasts, she wanted me to have one of her softest flannel shirts (that I borrowed all the time anyway!) and even gave me permission to fit it.

Before 

I've always had trouble finding shirts that fit. I can range from size small to large and some part is always either too tight or too baggy, thanks to nature's curves. So, if you have similar issues, this is a really easy way to fit any flannel or dress shirt so that it is actually flattering and doesn't look like it should be on a rail-thin mannequin. Or a boy.

Before

After

In the front, simply gather fabric right below the bust-line on each side. This step is super easy, I sewed mine while still wearing the shirt!

Back

For the back, I attached 2 buttons about 8 inches apart...

After 

  ...then I wrapped embroidery thread (think friendship bracelets) securely around each of the buttons and left enough slack so the shirt is form-fitting but still loose enough to move.

That's it! It only took a few minutes and now I get to wear my cozy, happy shirt all winter!

Homemade Gift for 2-year-old Boy

Back from Thanksgiving break in Chicago and Indiana. I got to see so many friends and family that I have missed dearly for months but I'm also glad to be back and trying to get stuff done! So, projects and blog time...

The little boy I babysit is turning 2 on Thursday and his mom is bringing him to my house to play with the other toddler I watch since they have become such close little friends! I wanted to give him a gift and since he loves playing with his dad's old Hot Wheels and we have plenty at my parents house, I  picked 6 of the coolest ones while I was home for Thanksgiving.

Gift sack that stands on its own (with Hot Wheels inside) and birthday card

I've always preferred used and homemade gifts - for giving and receiving - and I figured that now is the gift-giving time of year anyway and I had better start! To make this gift a little more personal than a simple hand-me-down, I made a gift sack and a card.

Bonus: Almost every part of this gift is used or re-usable so you don't have to worry about buying more expensive and wasteful crafting supplies.

Gift Sack (with Draw String)

Cut 2 piece of fabric the size you want the sack + a 1/2 inch on each side
 (I used an old upholstery sample and denim from old jeans)

Place the 2 pieces of fabric with the good sides in and sew 3 edge together
(Since this sack is mostly just to give a gift, I did not hem the 4th edge)

Optional: Square off the bottom of the sack

Cut small slits near top of sack but low enough to prevent fraying
(I cut 10 holes for this sack and, once again, did not finish them)

Thread a ribbon, rope or twine through though the holes
(In this  case, an old shoelace!)

Birthday Card

The card is pretty basic and can obviously be done many different ways. Since the birthday boy is only 2 years old, I made mine like a postcard with just a front and a simple, crayon-written message on back. No fancy, inside/outside folding cards here! I'm a simple girl at heart.

Supplies: Scrapbook paper, card-stock, basic computer paper,
Modge Podge (and brush),  glue stick and some old storybook illustrations I love. 

My favorite part about this card is the dinosaur, cut out from an old kid's book I found from the 70's. The book was in tatters but I cut out the pictures, realistic watercolors of pre-historic animals. I'm always trying to find a special project to use them because I like them so much.

The Whole Package

 Reusable Gift Sack + Recycled Hot Wheels + Homemade Birthday Card =
A pretty sweet, totally guilt-free birthday present

Happy Crafting!

Bath Time for a Sick Puppy

Part 1: The Sick Puppy

2 weeks after adopting our dog, Lady,  we found out that she was positive for heartworms.

I didn't know at the time how serious heartworms were. I thought they was on par with fleas: something you don't want your dog to have but more of a nuisance than anything else. Turns out, they're life-threatening and they're all over this region.

No one I knew ever had a dog with heartworms in Illinois or Indiana but everyone I talk to here has had a dog with them or at least knows someone who did. It's not really a surprise once you think about it. Heartworms are spread by mosquitos and, if there's one thing this area has, it's mosquitos (and chiggers and ticks and cockroaches...)

At first, we were really upset that the animal shelter mailed us her positive results 2 weeks after telling us that she had been tested and was completely healthy. Treatments cost around $800-$1,000 and are pretty miserable for the dog. I almost cried a few times thinking about if anything happened to her. It may sound pathetic, but Lady was the absolute BEST part of my new life in North Carolina and losing her so soon after falling head-over-heels would be devastating.

But then we realized that we got her from a kill shelter and that if they had seen her paperwork, she never would have lived for us to adopt her in the first place.

It's all about perspective.

So, here we are, a few months later. Lady has recovered from her treatment (2 low-level injections of arsenic!) and we were able to use money from our granny set up for my sister to cover most of the vet bills. Thanks, Granny!

Sadly, Lady can't run or get too worked up until after Christmas. And this girl lives to play fetch. Chasing tennis balls is her calling and she answers that calling with a vengeance.

But today we found an activity Lady can do: GET A BATH!!


Part 2: Bath Time

Since Lady's been wading in nearby Shelly Lake most mornings for the last few weeks, we figured she could probably use a good scrubbing before we head home for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

There's a local pet store called Unleashed that offers self-service tubs, products, supplies and even a grooming table for $15. If you live in Raleigh, I definitely recommend this place!

When you use the tub, you get access to their brushes, combs, nail clippers, shampoos, conditioners, lotions, eye cleaner, ear cleaner, ear lotion, paw & nose lotion, flea spray, de-tangle spray... anything you can think of and even some things you would never think of. And we used all of it- even the stuff we didn't really need. It was just so fun to use all these products for free!

Well, it was fun for us. Lady didn't enjoy it quite as much until the end when we dried her off and bought her salmon treats, the only kind she'll eat (she came pre-spoiled, it's not our fault). 

Very dry and happy girl. Notice how the tail is a blur?

On the blogging horizon: 

-A video of my dog playing with her new toy that only I will think is cute

-A post that isn't just about how much I love my dog